I have learned that discipline is an act of self-love.
When you push yourself to do things you know are good for you, even if you might not feel like it that day, that’s an act of self-love. Commitment with yourself, to yourself.
This can look different every day; nevertheless, the act of showing up for yourself matters. It is having your own back; no one is going to do the things you need to do for yourself; that’s on you, and showing up when you don’t feel like doing these things, that very action of being committed to you, is an act of self-love in its purest form.
I have come to realize a pattern in my emotional and mental health, a loop of being too caught up in a negative feeling that I allowed to exist from external circumstances that I then do not keep up the commitments I have with myself and the things that make me feel good. As a result, I don’t do them and give my energy to everything and everyone else instead, and hence, I continue to feel down while adding the feeling of betrayal for not making the time for me. It all seems too complex and overwhelming, and I am left feeling stuck in this little rut. In Spanish, we have this saying that translates to “drowning in a cup of water” because that’s all it is, but it becomes this huge, aggravated ocean in our mind if left unattended.
This is a cycle that you must pull yourself out of. How can we not be bothered to make time for ourselves?! And for the things that make us feel good?! How can we not make time for ourselves when we make time for everything else in our lives? We are our first and foremost priority. If you can commit to everyone and everything around you but not to yourself, you are demonstrating over and over you are last on your list. This will consequently lead to dissatisfaction and emptiness and breed resentment for the world and you. You will resent yourself.
Who will do it for us if we cannot be bothered to make time for ourselves?
The price we pay for not showing up for ourselves and committing to our very being is us. We are the price we are paying, and at what expense?
It is about having the discipline to follow through with the commitments I make with myself. I need to get up when I don’t want to, get my journal and write down my affirmations and what I am grateful for, sit and meditate for 10 minutes, and move my body. To get dressed, go to the ocean, sit in the sun, walk, and do the things that make me happy to be alive. It is going to bed earlier, doing your homework, educating yourself and investing in your growth, and working on your side project; it is everything.
If we cannot have the discipline to show up for ourselves even when we do not feel like it -especially when we don’t feel like it, it is a dishonour to who we are.
The paradox in this is that once we stop following through with the commitments we have with ourselves, we spiral, and we then wonder why we are feeling this way. But when was the last time we showed up for ourselves outside of waking up, scrolling on our phone, going to work, getting home to eat, and then sleeping? Can you remember the last time you made time for you?
Many people have asked me how I am motivated to go to the gym every day, and it is not motivation; it is discipline for a commitment I have to myself. It is also holding onto my why; if you know your why behind something, in your heart, that is what you hold onto on the hard days. It is always an inside job.
This translates to every other aspect, not just the gym. I don’t have the motivation to go to the gym every day, but I know moving my body keeps me sane, healthy, strong and allows me to live and function better, so I show up anyway. I know waking up earlier to have time to write down what I am grateful for before carrying on with my day makes me exist as a better human, so I show up anyway. Investing in myself and my education helps me evolve, grow, and learn, so I show up anyway. I don’t feel like going to swim in the ocean sometimes because I have worked every day all week, and on my day off, I have no energy and want to do nothing, but I know swimming in the ocean makes me love this life I was gifted with so I show up anyway.
Discipline in showing up for yourself and keeping your commitment with you is an act of self-love. Every day you show up for yourself, you are loving and honouring who you are.
It is nurturing, kind, and a gift to yourself to show up to do the things that seem unbearable sometimes but, you know, make you better.
It is far too easy to fall into the same routine that leaves us drained and sucks the life out of us while committing to everything in the world but ourselves. I know it feels like a lot of the time we cannot do a lot about it either, but we always have a choice.
with love,
valeria