Fear, by definition, is an unpleasant emotion caused by the threat of danger, pain, or harm.
What is so terrifying in our life that leaves us stagnant in our journey?
Like most of our thoughts, fear, the more we feed it, the more it grows and the more we feed off it. It then becomes this thing that dictates our life, feelings, emotions, and actions, and it is the center of our being if left unattended. The more time passes, the more we grow attached to it, and who we are molds around this thought, eventually becoming part of who we are.
Simply put – we identify ourselves with fear.
Fear is a story that projects into everything we do in life. Essentially, it hijacks our life.
The good news is that fear is just a thought fabricated in our minds, and thoughts can be changed.
As humans, we constantly focus on the future – fearing the unknown or the past – fear that formed through past experiences or fear of life not being like "the good old days." What about if we focus on the present moment and break it down to the micro-moments we live in now?
We cannot be scared of the moment we are living right now; there is nothing scary about what you are doing this very second, so why terrorize ourselves by placing our attention elsewhere?
As individuals, we are capable of so much if we believe in ourselves more than we believe in the story we tell ourselves.
I have found a clear correlation between fear and a lack of self-worth. When I feel fear, I ask myself, what am I afraid of? And often, the answer falls along the lines of "not being good enough." This could be for a job, an interview, expressing an idea, trying something new, creating something, and sharing it; it's quite the list… but the more I work on loving who I am, the more the fear in me vanishes. If you are confident in yourself, your abilities, your worth, and your ability to learn, why would you be scared?
It's in that gap of lack of belief that fear exists.
Fear seems to always be born out of something that 'might happen,' not out of something currently occurring in our lives. I am now understanding this further; if this is the only moment that exists, it doesn't make sense to worry or place our attention elsewhere.
This approach has freed me from being overridden with worry or fear and unable to move past certain things that sit in my head, putting all this unwanted pressure and bringing negative feelings into my day-to-day. WHY do we allow this inexistent fear in a faraway future to ruin our life THIS second ?! I cannot believe it. I shifted from allowing myself to identify with this fear by constantly feeding it, nurturing it, helping it grow, and justifying it to simply bringing my focus to what I am doing now. Nothing else, not in an hour or tomorrow or in six months, but right now and when you are fully immersed in this moment, there is no space for anything else to exist. Therefore, the fear vanishes.
Another side of fear I have been overcoming as of late has been self-sabotage as a result of being scared. If you are presented with an opportunity, it is there for a reason, and if it is something you would like to be doing, why sabotage your way out? Why won't you be good enough? Why can't you learn this? Why can't it be you that does so and so? Why aren't you ready?
A lot of the time, the people around us think we can do it, we are ready, we are more than good enough, and if they think so, why wouldn't we think it ourselves? I am good enough and can do this; if I don't know something, I can learn.
We often look at people and think they are lucky and "wow, I wish I could be doing that" and "How did they do it" at times, we are more qualified to do these things and more passionate and more dedicated, and it might be our dream to do it, but we are living in fear, too afraid even to start. That's the biggest difference. Some people didn't wait till the 'perfect moment' or to feel ready or for anything else; they started as they were in that moment and believed in themselves; everything else comes.
This fear of failure or being talked about or embarrassed or whatever disguise fear might take shape for you; it is unfair to live your life out of fear. Unfair to you. Unfair to life.
This moment is our life, so whether you choose to jump at the unknown and embrace opportunity, back yourself in, show up for yourself, be present in this moment, OR you decide to cage yourself in a box out of fear and not let yourself grow, you have a choice. And it is your responsibility.
So if we can live in the now and choose to be present, why give our lives away and waste the time we are given on earth because we are scared?
We can be scared and still do something. We can still start and speak up and try something new and create and share, and we can choose not to keep ourselves small and stuck in our old ways out of fear, even when we are scared.
We have a choice. We always have a choice.
with love always,
valeria.